E3 2015: Sony Press Conference

Sony with the final conference for today. Warning: I’m a bit of a Sony fanboy, so don’t expect the same amount of cynicism.
YEAH! BEST INTRO TO ANY E3 EVER!!!!11!! Just kidding, last year’s Sony intro was better :p

The beard suits him. The PR speak….oooh, the Zeitgeist has been dropped.
The Last Guardian is here… wow, so it’s still a thing? Now don’t crucify me, but I’m really not hyped for it. Never was. It looks cute and all, but I really can’t see me playing it. Big question now: Is it still a PS3 game? Probably not, but it doesn’t look very PS4. Maybe the PS3 swansong, while also getting a 1080p/60 PS4 release. Release date: 2016. I really doubt a PS3 release then. Shuhei just confirmed PS4. Wow, that’s not going to make any points on the visual front.

Guerilla Games guy on the stage. New Killzone? No. A new franchise. Post-Apocalyptic. Looks neat.
Scratch that. Looks awesome. Robo dinos. Cool weapons. I’m down for that.
It’s called Horizon: Zero Dawn.

Square Enix trailer now. No idea. New IP? Hitman reboot? Ok, Hitman. But is it a reboot?
Oh, come oooon. You know what I didn’t miss during the Xbox press conference? Exclusive content. So why are you doing it Sony? Screw that shit.

Anyway, console exclusive (there it is again) Street Fighter 5 now. Don’t really care. Wow, he really can’t stop saying exclusive.

Hello Games, you know what that means? No Man’s Sky. And we see actual gameplay. A universe sized sandbox? Sand is rather boring though. Yeah, we get it, it’s big, but what is it about? Has a certain Elite: Dangerous vibe, but about 100x cooler, thanks to the whole being able to land on planets thing. Looks all very peaceful. Fully destructible environment. And there are big robot sentinels, who are guarding the planets from people. And that’s it. We still don’t know much. Trading, fighting, exploring, survival. Well, it looks cool at least.

Media Molecule has more than just the Tearaway port. Ok, what is this? A sculpting game? The visuals are pretty cool, but I can’t see an actual game in it. It’s called Dreams and the crowd goes nuts. That’s the thing with crowds, they like good lucking stuff. BUT WHAT IS IT?!

Firewatch, no idea what that is, but it looks freaking awesome. Is this becoming a trend now? How can you not show up at Gamescom?! WE WANT ANSWERS TO WHAT YOU ARE SHOWING US!

Destiny. NEEXT!

Assassin’s Creed. NEEEEEEXT!

World of Final Fantasy. Finally a Vita game. Also PS4. Looks ...ok? Can’t say much.

So, time for Final Fantasy 7? Let’s be this a troll. The PC version with with new CGI cutscenes. HOOOLLLYYY FUCKING SHIT! The internet just died. It’s a Final Fantasy VII Remake. First on PS4 (so also on XBO, probably)

Devolver Digital Showcase? I didn’t really look. The Final Fantasy thing got me distracted.

Ok, this is insane now. Shenmue 3?! If this is an exclusive, then… a Kickstarter? Are you kidding me? What is this shit? Promoting a Kickstarter during the Playstation conference?

I…I…This is confusing. Sorry. Some Batman trailer is running. I don’t really…

Shenmue 3 Kickstarter? FF7 Remake? My brain is all messy right now.

Ok, exclusive Batman Arkham Knight mission.

Morpheus! The games look decent. People can try Morpheus at E3. Looks like that’s it.

Some media stuff I don’t care about.

Call of Duty Black Ops 3. Whatever. Liked the last one, but come on: It’s CoD. What’s there to say about it? So there is coop, cool. Can we skip the rest? You can make people vomit? Fine, GOTY. Can we continue with the show now? Crysis like abilities. Again: next? Please?
And now they talk about it. Oh god. If you stop now, I’ll buy it. Promised.

So, that’s it?

Vita. Very little Vita. Vita dead?

Oh, it’s not over. Was wondering why not Uncharted. Star Wars now. Disney Infinizzzzzzzzzzzz.
Battlefront still looks good. Not much has changed since the EA conference, however.

Last game, probably Uncharted then. Yes, it is. Nathan looks to be as confused as I am however. Not moving and all. Somebody at Sony has a heart attack now.
Game looks good, but I really don’t need to see so much of it. Unless you make it a space shooter, I know what to expect. Game looks really good though. “First time driver here” heh, that’s cute. The driving sequence looks fun, but now you’ve spoiled it.

People are getting up, so I guess that’s it. So, whats my opinion? Can’t say. Still confused about the whole thing. The Kickstarter killed my brain. And the Final Fantasy 7 remake? Damn. No word on Kingdom Hearts. That exclusivity thing was pissing me off. The new reveals looked interesting. Last Guardian is also big, though I still don’t care.

Interesting bit of information: Shenmue 3 will be PC and PS4 only.

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